Monday, 27 February 2012

Pet Bereavement

If like me you have lost a pet,then you will know how I feel.
We think we will have years with our pets, but time slips past so fast. I know I felt just the same. saying that in recent times I had started to worry that I may lose my darling cat.
Then three weeks ago the thing I had feared happen, and she slipped away and broke my heart.

Some people can be insensitive and not understand how the loss of a cat, can break your heart.
All I can say is they must have not had the luck to ever had the love a pet brings.
If I had not loved her so much, the pain would have been much less. I felt as if a human member of the family had passed away, and could not bring myself to really make effort to do anything.

So now I am trying to remember the good times. The cuddles and fun and 16 years of company she gave me. Unconditional love that only a pet brings to you.
I have felt guilt also..... Did I leave it too long? Did I do enough? Was there more I could have done for her? Every thought has crossed my mind. I think anyone who has lost a pet would identify with this.

Its not stupid to feel this, and people need to understand that you have lost your best friend.
The painful empty space she left , hurts.
I think its important to grieve and not too feel guilty if you can. Cry and don't hold back, let it out and don't shut off from the world.

So three weeks on it still hurts, but its getting better. I can say her name and think of her without crying, so that's got to be good. I don't think there is plan you can follow, as everyone is different so stick to how you feel.
I know there are lots of help lines and web sites, and that is good if you feel like you need to chat to someone who understands.

Yes I have lost my darling cefer cat but don't be sad for me. She was a darling cat my constant buddy for 16 years. She brought me love and happiness everyday she was alive and for that I thank her so much.
If you know someone who has lost a loved pet, then please understand and take time to ask them how they feel. Be kind and try to understand it will mean a great deal to them.
I found a lovely poem which I would love to share.




Weep not for me though I am gone into gentle night. Grieve if you will, but not long upon my soul's sweet flight. I am at peace, my soul's at rest. There is no need for tears. For with your love I was so blessed . For all those many years . There is no pain, I suffer not.

The fear now all is gone. Put now these things out of your thoughts. In your memory I live on.
Remember not my fight for breath. Remember not the strife. Please do not dwell upon my death, but celebrate my life.

1992 by Constance Jenkins


I am taking part in a post link up hosted by
http://www.blogelina.com

169 comments :

  1. So sorry to hear about your loss and sending you hugs. Your cat was very lucky to have spent her life in such a loving home. xxx

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  2. Hello Jilly, so sorry to hear that you have lost your beloved pet, but time heals, and its good that you can now remember the good times you shared with her.
    Best wishes, Joy xx

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  3. Thank you ruth and joy she was much loved xx

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  4. Losing a very much loved pet is heartbreaking and they are missed terribly. Remember all of the good times together and that you were both very lucky to have each other. Big hug. xxx

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  5. Thanks brIgItte she is very missed xxx

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  6. Hi, Found you in the Blog Hop, New GFC Follower, Hope you can follow me back and check out my posts

    http://giveawayhog.blogspot.com/

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  7. It's hard losing pets you've had for years. I know. Raider was my cat that I had from the time I was 16-28 was a hard loss to take. I brought him home from the vet wrapped in a towel and now he's eternally in the back yard. Unfortunately, my ex built a playhouse on top of his grave, but he's out there.

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  8. thanks for stopping by blog! def hope to see ya around again :-)



    http://infinitelifefitness.com
    http://mscomposure.blogspot.com

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  9. Thank you both and nice to meet you

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  10. It is hard to loose a pet. They are part of your family. It does get easier, but you still very much miss them. You always will.

    Veronica @ http://watchmeplaynlearn.blogspot.com/

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  11. oh, I am sorry about your loss....I feel for you!! Pets are a part of your family and your life.
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
    We are getting a new puppy this spring....the kids feel like they can't betray our old dog and just forget about her......but I miss that dog too!!

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  12. HUGS. Praying <3
    That is so sad...and even more sad when people are insensitive about it and don't understand it.

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  13. Thank you so much cami, momto8 and veronIca for your comments. She was a wonderful companion for16yrs
    I miss her very much xx

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  14. So sorry for your loss. Our pets our such a big part of our family.

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  15. Thanks Angie she was a special cat

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  16. I lost my beloved dog when I was 9 month pregnant with my first child. It was tragic and it took me 6 years to get to a place where I could get another pet. Those little critters just worm their way into our hearts. Just ignore all those people who don't understand because so many of us can truly sympathize!

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  17. it is sooo sad when you loose a pet, I have a couple times and I don't really feel up for doing it again. but i know i will with my boys... My sea monkies got ill the other day and I was so worried they would die... silly i am so attached to sea monkies...

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  18. Thank you for posting this. It is so true that people say "it's just a cat", or in my case "it's just a dog". Well, "just a dog" was my baby. It was seriously like losing a child. She has been gone a little over a year, and not one day goes by that I don't think about and miss her. I will never own another pet because I can't go through the heartbreak again. I appreciate you informing others that losing a pet can be like losing a family member.

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  19. Thank you deedra,Eschelle and Stephanie your comments mean a great deal

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  20. Our kitty is 17 years old! We are treasuring every day he is still here. He was our first baby ~ before kids.

    :)
    Lisa

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  21. Pets are a treasure. Keep the memories alive.

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  22. Thank you wArrior mum she was my baby 2
    And yes hopkins family they are and I will x

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  23. It's so hard to know that they won't be with us forever...but their memories are.

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  24. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm hopelessly bonded with my cat. I've only had him for a year and a half, but he got ill last year and I thought he was going to go. I wasn't ready to lose him. Fortunately, he did recover from his illness, but I know how awful I would feel if I lost him.

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  25. Thank you kRisten she will be with me always.
    I so hope you have many years erin I had 16 with her it was special

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  26. I've lost many, many pets through the years, even since I was at school. I used to feel shattered; now, I rejoice in the thought that they had someone to take care of them while they were alive. And I still miss them sometimes.

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  27. Thank you eleni I've also lost other pets but this was such a special cat :-(

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  28. I read this post as my cat is sleeping on my feet as I sit in a recliner. I know this day is going to come but I can't imagine what it is going to be like. Thanks for this post.

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  29. Thanks Kelly I hope you have many many years with your cat

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  30. Oh no! So sorry to hear about loosing your friend. I wish I could say something to make you feel better!

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  31. Thank you emily your comments make me feel better

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  32. I feel your sadness and it's ok. She is still in your heart.

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  33. Awww, she was beautiful! I'm so sorry for your loss. My cats and dogs are part of my family, and I will be crushed when their time comes. I worry about it a lot now because two of my cats are 15, and two of my dogs are 10. I know I'm running short on time with them. I lost a dog when I was 10, and 26 years later I still miss him.

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  34. I am so sorry for your lose and I know how you feel as I lost my daughter and then her dog and it hurt as bad as losing her. I will be Praying for you.

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  35. it's one step at a time, one minute at a time, one day at a time - your pace....

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  36. Thank you so much I really have found much comfort in your comments. I still miss her but it gets easier. She was such a beautiful loving cat

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  37. What a beautiful cat! Sorry about your loss. 16 years is a long time to have a cat and so of course you miss her!

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  38. I think it's the lost of someone who loves you unconditionally that hurts the most. I spend a lot of time with all my four legged family members and they always know when I need a snuggle or some love. They know when it's time for me to sit and relax. They are just always there for me as I am sure many can understand.

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  39. So sorry about your kitty!

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  40. Thank you all it's so nice to have other pet owners who love their little buddies as much as I do xx

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  41. I have lost a few pets in my life and some are harder than others. Some I may have bonded with more closely and miss their little quirky ways. I'm sorry you lost your kitty, it is hard to lose our fuzzy friends. I love the poem you shared, I have never heard of that. I usually see the one about the Bridge in relation to pets.

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    1. thanks starlene they make such a mark on your heart. Im glad you liked the poem I just found it via the interenet

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  42. So sorry to hear you lost your cat. A buddy for 16 years, that's difficult. When my budgee died after 8 years I was heartbroken too. My advice: don't get another cat too soon, as it will not be the same and you'll resent the poor animal for it. Good luck!

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  43. Wow 16 years is a long time! Praying you have peace!
    www.foraging4aliving.com

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  44. 16 years is a very long time, not too many relationships last that long. You have every right to be heartbroken, I hope you are feeling better soon...

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comments

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  45. So sorry for your loss. The loss of a pet is never easy. I'm glad you were able to have 16 happy years together :)

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    1. Thank you I did have wonderful years of love from her,

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  46. 16yrs is awesome! We just had to put our dog down...he was 12. Such wonderful memories.


    Wendy
    Around My Family Table

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  47. thank you all its been hard but as many of you have said we had 16 yrs together which I will never forget

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  48. I'm so sorry for your loss! I have a cat who is almost 12 and a dog who is almost 11 and for the past few years I have had a fear that they may go soon and it almost breaks my heart. I can't imagine not cuddling with them every night.

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    1. hi erin thanks so much. I worried about her for awhile as I knew she was getting old. I do wonder if she had not got cancer how long she would have lived for. I hope you have more years with them, I know i miss my cuddle

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  49. Aww, so sorry for your loss. We've had pets but not long-term ones. We're not pet people. My brother just lost his 12 year old dog. It hit him hard.

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    1. She was with me 16yrs :-(
      Please tell your brother how sorry I am

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  50. I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember my dog passing after 20 years and it was so hard. I'm glad you are cherishing her memory :)

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    1. Thank you it doesn't get easier does it

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  51. Animals are wonderful blessings. It's never wrong to mourn the loss of a blessing!

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  52. Sorry for your lost, I remember when I love my dog Sandy, I'll never for it.

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  53. Sorry about the loss of your cat. It is amazing the unconditional love a pet can offer.

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    1. so true they bring comfort to a lot of people

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  54. I personally can't relate... I do remember when we had to give our dog away because of a move... that was a sad day. My MIL sure can relate though... she has had several cats, two of which lived for years and years but just recently passed last year. She misses them for sure.

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    1. you really do miss them when something has been in your life almost 24-7 for 16 yrs its hard

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  55. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Pets can be your best friends.

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    1. thank you katie yes its sad and she was so my best friend

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  56. So sorry for your loss. I know pets can be part of the family!

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  57. thank you so much she was very much part of the family

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  58. I am so sorry for your loss! Until we got our golden retriever 4 years ago, I had never really been attached to a pet. Now, I cannot think of our lives without him.

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    1. They really become very close when you lose them it breaks your heart

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  59. Sorry for your loss sweetie! I think my cats are 8-9 years old. I can't imagine them not being here.

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  60. So sorry to hear about your baby. It is hard for non-pet people to understand! Thank you for sharing your heart and your grief.

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  61. I completely understand. We lost our 16 yer old pup not long ago. My heart goes out to you.

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    1. I'm so sorry fir your loss as well. We have wonderful memories I'm sure

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  62. I know how you feel. We lost our cat after 13 years. It was so sad to lose her. She has been gone about 1 year. We were not planning on getting another cat. But recently a cat showed up at our door. She had been abused but trusted us right away. We call her Gava (gee-ah-vee-uh) which is swedish for gift.

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    1. They say cats pick their owners lol
      We have another cat but this one was special .
      Many happy years with your new gAva

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  63. So sad! I had a kitty for ten years when I was growing up who was as much a part of the family as any other person. When she passed away I was devastated, so I know how you are feeling.

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    1. Thank you so much everyones kind comments have been a joy

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  64. She is just beautiful! I too am not looking forward to the day I lose my little buddy. Eventually it will come though, that is life :(
    thejobofmommy.com

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    1. Thank you yes she was beautiful and loving. She was stuck to me like glue day and night lol
      I hope you have many many years with your buddy

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  65. I'm so sorry about your loss. Pets become such a part of our lives that letting them go is always so difficult.

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    1. thank you corinne they so are a huge part of our lives. I think you have to really be an owner to understand the huge hole that they live. Thank you for your comments please visit again

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  66. I can relate to you. When our pet dog died it was like losing a member of the family. And it's really heartbreaking. But life's is always like that.

    Hope you'll feel better now.

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    1. Yes i so agree yannie. I am still very sad but i am sure in time it will get better

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  67. Sorry to hear about that. I know it's not easy losing a pet. When my nephew's fish died. He was really upset. Seeing him sobbing make my heart break.

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    1. any pet really does get into your heart marian

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  68. I so understand your feelings. I lost a very dear friend a few years ago and it was I lost one of my children. He was a Chihuahua. That dog only had eyes for me and had a German Shephard heart when it came to protecting me. He was a blessing for the almost 14 years I had the pleasure of his company. I miss him dearly. I had him cremated and he is here with us in spirit in is small little urn. I still have my other two faithful companions. Cookie and Kloe my cats. They are both 12 and 13 years old so I know my time with them is limited also. Enjoy each day you have with them....

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    1. thank you bakergirl you do know how i feel. They are such a special part of family life. I hope you have years with your babies

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  69. i'm sorry for your loss. we lost our raistlin just 2 days after christmas. my 4 and 6 year olds were both awake when i discovered how sick she was, and needed to get her to the vet, and were here when their dad got home so i could bring her, and were here with us when we were digging frozen ground to bury here. its such an emotional experience. and so sad. having the kids aware was rough but honestly, made us have more closure because we kind of were forced to talk about it.

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    1. Im so sorry for your loss QueenB, I so know how you feel. I am very sad for your family and mine. I hope you feel better soon

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  70. What a beauty she was! I'm so glad to hear that you can focus on the positive memories you have with her. Blessings!

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    1. Thank you so much yes there are lots

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  71. I have 2 calicos as well and they will always be my precious furry babies! Sorry for your loss. I'd be heart broken if I lost my babies!

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    1. Thank you they really are so part of any home

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  72. What a little darling cat, sorry for your loss.

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    1. Yes she was a darling thank you so much

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  73. I've never had a pet, but I can imagine how sad it is to lose one. I once got attached to a groundhog in our backyard... and then I ran it over one day by accident when it darted out in front of me :( It was devastating.

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    1. You have missed out not having a pet they are so special

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  74. I'm sorry about your cat. :-( When I was 22, I had to have my cat put down to spare him any more pain. I'd gotten him for my 6th birthday when he was 6 weeks old. So we grew up together. My mom always said she didn't like him but she went to the vet with me and we cried and cried. It is hard, but I was fortunate to have a lot of pictures. I still look at them sometimes. I even have one on my blog and the blog came along WAY (about 10 years) after the cat was gone. Your cat will *always* be a part of your life, especially after having him for that long, but it *will* get easier.

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    1. You sooo know what I'm going through! They really do get into your heart. Thanks so much

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  75. It is so hard to lose a furbaby. I am sorry to hear about yours. I become very attached to my pets, and have always grown up with animals around me. When I lost the dog I had for over 15 years I was heartbroken, and sometimes I still am. I just know that he is in a better place and was not living comfortably any more, so I find peace in that.

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    1. Thank you so much and the same goes for me I know she is in a better place.

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  76. I'm sorry for your loss.

    I think my husband will have a very hard time when our cat's time comes, because he is his best friend, next to me of course. They are always cuddling and every night is their play time. It's really hard on both of them when the husband has to go out of town for work.

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    1. My cat was the same for me, I miss our cuddles the most. Wish you many more years

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  77. I have never been very attached to any of our pets. My children definitely are though. So sorry for your loss.

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  78. I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our German Shepherd a few months ago and we are still trying to come back from that loss. We have two other dogs and they seemed to mourn her passing too. It affects the entire family. Our best wishes to you and your family as you recover from your loss.

    suzy

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    1. So sorry for your lost I so understand. I guess we have pictures and lots of memories. Hugs

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  79. My mother just lost a dear cat. She's lost many pets over the years but I think this one has hit her harder than most. Thanks for the reminder to check up on her and express sympathy.

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    1. So sorry for her loss. I think it does get harder when you get older maybe you don't spring back as fast ? Thank you for your comment

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  80. {{HUGS}} I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind wirds

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  81. We had our dog DJ for 7 years. He got cancer and we had to put him to sleep. It was so hard. He was our baby (this was before we had our daughter, Isabella), and it was like losing a family member. I still feel sad 2 years later when I think about him. I am sorry for your loss. 16 years is a long time to have a pet.

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    1. I'm sorry you had the pain of losing a buddy I know how it hurts. Thank you for your kind eords

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  82. pets are family members through and through. we love our pets and understand your pain. :(

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  83. Sorry for the loss of your cat. Animals definately become a part of. your family. My dog is truely a part of my family. He is my little furrbaby. :)

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    1. Thank you so much I hope you have many years with your little buddy

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  84. It is sad when we lose one of our beloved pets. They can be like children sometimes! And it doesn't help to get a new baby kitten usually. I'm glad your girl lived a long happy life. She was a beautiful calico. I had a calico cat when I was growing up, her name was Tinkerbelle.

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    1. Ah your cat sounds lovely. Yes she lived a very happy life. Thank you so much

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  85. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I remember losing my cat when I was a teen. It still sits heavy on my heart. Now, his contemporaries, my mother's cats, are passing away and again, it is very hard.

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    1. It does make life very hard but she was much loved. I have wonderful memories

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  86. :( I lost Jade, my little birdie a few years ago. I know how you feel, so sorry for your loss!

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    1. So sorry for you sad loss as well. Hugs x

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  87. So sorry for your lose - I miss my cat every day, and he died over a year ago! Pets hold special places in our hearts.

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    1. Yes so true they do sit in our hearts forever. Thank you souvh

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  88. Some people like to keep emotionally distant from their pets, but like you, our pets are truly a part of our family. It's so hard when they die, but the joy they give us while they're alive makes it all worth it. My condolences.
    -Viva recently posted Homemade Pizza Dough

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    1. I agree my cat was so much part of the family. Thank so much for your comments

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  89. So very sorry for your loss. Your cat looked a lot like our Emily, who passed away last year at age 15. It was very hard to lose her; she had been with me for my entire adult life! Thank you for sharing your story.

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    1. I so understand how you feel! Mine was with me 16 years it hurts :-(. Thank you so much

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  90. Sorry to hear about your loss. Pets really do become a part of the fam and it's hard when you lose them.

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  91. So sorry for your loss.

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  92. Sad face! What a pretty kitty! My aunt had a cat die in October. I had gotten close to that cat (had stayed with my aunt for 3 months) and I had a hard time with that loss. I can't imagine losing either of the two cats I have now! I think we should get bereavement time at work....

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  93. Sorry to hear about your loss. So nice that you have such happy memories that you can focus on!

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    1. Thank you so much for your comments

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  94. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I absolutely understand - we had to say goodbye to a dear pet a few years ago, and it was heartbreaking. Now I'm just trying to enjoy every moment I have with my darling 19-year-old cat.

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  95. I lost my cat of 18yrs more than a year ago and I still get teary if I think of him for too long. I haven't been able to get another cat yet either. I will someday, it's just not time yet.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

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  96. Godspeed to your cat, peace to you. Pets are sometimes the greatest gifts for the soul. Celebrate the memories!

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    1. thank you I will she did give me so much love and memories

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  97. I'm so sorry. Even now, a year or so later, I miss my cat. I cried the night we had to put her down (she was in so much pain and we just could not bear hearing her cry and cry). So glad you have good memories of your pet.

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  98. Aw, I'm sorry. Take care. My cat is 15 and went blind this Christmas. They don't know why. He's pretty happy, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking it's the twilight of his life...and that makes me sad. But I will focus on today and the joy he brings!

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    1. Thank you so much. I hope your dear cat has much more time with you.xxx

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  99. I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one, especially for a pet love, is so difficult.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comments it was hard but Im feeling better now and thinking of the good times

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  100. I know just what you are feeling we have lost a few wonderful pets over the years. It is so sad when they pass and it takes some time to feel like doing anything. I hope you are feeling a bit better soon.
    Easy2Save

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    1. Thank you so much I am feeling better now :-)

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  101. I'm very sorry for your loss. I have a cat and a dog that are both over 12, so I know my time with them is limited.

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  102. I am sorry for your loss. My mother's dog is starting to slow down, and I know it won't be long before he's gone.

    -Melanie from Melanie's Musings

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    1. Thank you I hope your mums dog has many more happy years

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  103. so sorry to hear about your loss. Our pets are like family members, too, and to have someone say "it's just a cat/dog/rabbit" is really harsh to us!

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  104. Be still my heart it is not easy to lose your friend. Our kitties are part of our family and we have lost 2 in the last 15 years due to age and disease. Give you a wink Sunday. I'm enjoying your blog and wont stop, I have come from Blogelinas 100 comment hop, I have added myslef to your blog and now continue to hop!! Now that we met come follow me...... on my..... GFC....Oh! My Heartsie
    @Oh! My Heartsie
    Karren

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    1. Thank you karren it is nice to meet you. I will hop over and follow you as well

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  105. Sorry for your loss. Sounds like your cat had a special master, who loved her very much.

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    1. Yes she was such a lovely cat I miss her

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  106. I totally feel like pets are family members. We lost one of our family cats just before Christmas, it was really sad and very difficult to explain to our 4 year old. So sorry for your loss.

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  107. Awe, hugs:( Pets ARE family. Your feelings are totally justified and honestly, it would be sad if you werent so upset.

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    1. thank you so much for your comments it means a lot

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  108. It is NOT silly or unreasonable to feel that way. Pets are our family members and the enrich our lives in ways that only pet "moms & dads" can understand.
    Sorry for the loss your kitty.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comments, yes other pet owners do understand its sweet

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  109. "When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure." So sorry!

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  110. My oldest daughter just lost her pet parakeet. I have never loved a pet like that. I guess I'm just not a pet person. But I know somewhat what you are going through. I'm sorry you lost a good friend.

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    1. Thank you so much. they are more like family than a pet

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  111. Oh my dear, that is such a sad loss, our pets come to us, bring us love, and devotion and when they leave, it is such a devastation. I am sending you love and hugs. She is now on the rainbow bridge awaiting you.

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I am always delighted when people take time to leave me a comment...thanks so much