Friday, 19 April 2013

Low Battery

Low Battery my cell phone flashed right at the second I was thinking I felt crappy. Was this a strange metaphor for my life? It sure felt like it was, well at least at that second on this day.
My life always seem to be about my weight which has been up and down all my life. If I added up all the days and weeks I had worried about my weight, I would be able see how much time I have wasted.

I have been slim and fairly fit but now I am very unfit and very overweight. I have really bad arthritis, and while I know its not an excuse, it does not help me to get fit or do fitness. I can't sleep well because of the pain and then I am worn out all day. I really want to lose weight and I can try but I seem to end up back at the start again.

I have stopped wanting to go out and feel better staying at home, this is where I feel safe. I have such low confidence that a social event is not fun. I never feel like I look my best and always seem to get stuck with the skinny guest.
My husband has no clue when I say I don't want to attend, he just thinks I am being a pain.

I pretend I am fine and happy, and that goes against me at times. I don't look like I need help and people often want me to give more than I can.

So I am dong a blog post to say I can't sleep. I cant get back on my diet and Low Battery is so true right now. Fear not i am sure I will be jollyjilly soon.



10 comments :

  1. oh Jill I feel for you, I'm a bit of a lump myself right now and although I intend to do something about it, I am confident in the knowledge that I am a nice person as are you, don't let the negative thoughts get you down. You don't need to be skinny to be a wonderful person. I'd rather be fat than nasty any day. Chin up Aunty Jill you are beautiful person and we love you xxxx

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    1. Lou I'm sure you look fab ! Like you I want to do more but never seem to get there. I I'm soooooo happy for Natalie as she's lost 9st but it also is hard when I am stuck.
      You are right who I am will never change
      Thank you for your support it made me start the day with a smile. Love you all loads xxxxx

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  2. I know exactly how you feel Jill, i stopped wanted to go out and now no-one asks me..

    i do hope you feel a bit brighter soon xx

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    1. Thanks jac you know you are always welcome to visit anytime. 2 old recluse's together lol

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  3. I hope you feel better soon! You have a wonderful blog!! I'm your newest GFC follower from the “I love my post” blog hop - this is my blog if you wanted to follow back: godsgrowinggarden.com
    Thanks
    Angie

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    1. Thanks Angie I am glad you enjoyed the blog

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  4. I went through this slump for about 2 years, and gained 50 pounds. It was horrible and I know exactly how you feel. I didn't go to a friend's wedding because of how felt I thought I looked, and I ended up losing the friend over it.

    The time will come when you feel like you're ready to lose the weight and get back on track. I did and I lost those 50 pounds. Just remember that it doesn't define who you are, but if it's making you miserable, then change something! Start small.

    FYI: I'm visititing from the Blog till you Drop weekend blog hop. :-)

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    1. Hi Lisa well done losing those 50 pounds. I will keep on pushing on lol

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  5. Oh sweety, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm sure you're a gorgeous woman - both inside and out - even with this weight. I'll be praying for your emotions, dear!

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    1. Thank you Susannah for your kind words. I will always smile lol

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