Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Why did I let it weigh me down?

I think the clue is in the title  "weigh "! All of my life and that all 55 years I  have worried and fussed about my weight. As a young child I was so small the doctor told my mother she had to feed me up. When I was around four I was so tiny people often thought I was much younger.

When I started school I started to gain weight and no one really knew why. My mum was a good healthy cook and we enjoy the outdoors life, walking the dog and camping. I only had sweets once a week and in those days where we didn't worry about fat this and carbs that, we were very in control.  My whole school life was dominated by bullying over my weight. I think I heard every fat joke in the book. It made me very lacking in confidence and even today I still have issue in that direction. I truly believe that if I had not had weight issues I would have achieved  much more in my life.
I let it stop me from doing so much as I was totally obsessed with my size. By the time I reached 18 i was slim, not tiny but a good healthy weight. Did I think that oooo no not me I was still fat in fact in my head I was huge.

When I was 20 I was lucky enough to meet my husband and we got married. When I look at my dress now its sooo tiny I'm not sure I would even get it to my knees lol. Did I see I was so slim...... no way!

After we got married I lost a lot of weight and go so tiny. My mum was worried and I look back now and see it could have been an issue. I then got pregnant with my darling son Matthew. I thought I couldn't have children so when I found out I was scare to do anything to hurt him. By the time Matthew was 8 months I was slim and I stayed that way until I got pregnant with my daughter Natalie.

The last time I was really slim was in 1994 and I lost a lot of weight again. I was at fitness classes everyday and life was so good. Then the dreaded arthritis set in and things went from good to bad. I have such a bad back these days I struggle to walk anywhere and life can be a drag,
As a result I have put on loads of weight and getting it off is a constant battle.

So the title of this post "Why did I let it weight me down?" is why did I let it run my whole life. When I'm over weight I am unhappy but when I was slim I still thought I was fat lol. Its a constant merry go round and I feel like I am never off.
If I could turn back time I would tell my slim self to stop the train and get off and enjoy the view. Enjoy being slim and be happy.

Ah well I maybe fat but I am blessed in many ways. I have a lovely husband and beautiful children and daughter in law and niece and nephews and friends. Worry less about size and live life to the full


  1. Great message Jill. I wish I could worry less about my weight but its causing me life threatening problems. I'm one of the unlucky ones that the slightest bit of weight I put on, it makes me ill. I guess heart is just not able to cope with it.

    I think you have always looked gorgeous no matter what size you have been over the years. When you was a teenager, I really looked up to you and thought you were the coolest auntie ever and I still think that today xxx

    1. You and me both em being overweight is soooo hard. I know how much easier life would be if I were lighter. Ah bless but not sure I was ever the cool aunt lol lol xxx

  2. Oh jill, how i can relate to your story!! Weight has always been an issue with me and my story is very simular to yours! I once in my desperate plea to lose weight, came of my insulin for over a year, lost nine and a half stone, then went on to have a "tummy tuck" and a double hernia repair, i got a rare infection and almost lost my my life and spent many months in hospital. But!! I did have a few wonderful years feeling "normal" for the first time in my life" I felt accepted by society, I went on holidays, i wore "normal" clothes bought from "normal shops! I fel pregnant late in life, put ona shed load of weight due to other illnesses' I now still have a weight issue but!! Like you, I have a good family which includes 5 children, i have fantastic friends like you! And i can still look good! To hell with what society thinks, i am ME and there's more to me than just fat lol! x x x x x

    1. The stuff we put ourselves through Leese! How stupid because we are never happy are we. I so know life would be so much better if I lost 7st but easier said than done . Still we still have our humour don't we lol xxxxxx


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