On the television in the UK these past few weeks has been a show called "My last summer". It follows a group of five people who are all terminally ill . Now I know most of you would say that was not good viewing but I beg to differ. It was so lovely to see how the group bonded and shared their views and feelings about dying.
In 1982 my dear Mum was diagnosed with cancer. At this time it was fight fight fight and her losing her battle was not an option. I found it very hard as I was so close to her and I had a young baby who needed my time.
I was worried for my mum but also trying to give my young son my attention as well. Stress levels were high. I felt so sad but guilty about my feelings as well. I wanted my life back! I did not want to worry at all and I really found the stress difficult. How dare I feel sad or angry my life had been messed with, how selfish was I!
As time went on we hoped she had been cured but then she started to get worse. When my daughter was small in around 1987 she was told she had a year to live. My heart stopped and the world moved in slow motion for me. She was so sick and even though she loved my children she would cry that she could not hold them.
You feel as if you are on a huge high cliff and about to jump off . The fear of the unknown is constantly there.
I needed to talk to someone but there was no one at all. I felt sad and guilty and every other emotion in the book.
Mun proved them wrong at first and that year went into five in total. At the end of those five years she lost her life on Mothers day. I was heart broken as I had lost my heart , my life , my everything. I had to go on as I had two young children who needed me but it was hard.
You would think this documentary series would be morbid and sad but it was far from that. It was happy and sad and very thought provoking. Yes you were sad for the people and their families but also privileged to have been part of their story. I think it is brave to be able to face the issues they and their family faced and I understand those issue so much. No one wants to think about dying but it is something that is going to happen to us all. Yes it brought up my feelings about my mother but also good times with her. Well done to everyone who was involved with Channel 4 's "My Last Summer" it was an excellent insight to people living with a terminal illness. I hope all involved had peace and the sun went down on their world with charm and peace.