Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Jolly Lonely World

Today I am feeling a bit reflective and wondering what I should do with my life to improve things. I am normal a happy person but I am feeling a bit down in the dumps. I feel like life is passing me by and I am getting left behind, while others move forward. I have never been very exciting or like to go far from home. I have a bad lack of self confidence which weight and health issues have only made worse.
I have two wonderful children and partners and a grandson and granddaughter on the way, but its still a lonely life at times.  I have a few health issues which is turn have added to the weight, its a never ending circle that goes round and round. I am overweight so find it hard to do any fitness work, but then being overweight makes the health worse.
I think people see me as a bore, who will not try anything and that makes me sad. If I was slim and healthy I would be doing all the fun stuff that I can't do now.
I stay home most of the time and if I do go anywhere it is such a trial to work around I feel exhausted. So its hard not to be depressed and to at least give an false "I'm fine" all the time. I am 57 and most days I feel 87. People's patience often is tested as I guess it looks like I am just not trying , but really I am.
I want to go on holiday and see wonderful new places but I am scared I will not be able to get around or I will be sick all  the time.
Loneliness is a painful condition and one which must affect so many people. I am lucky to have family but many people do not have that.
Sorry If I have not been my normal "jolly" but even a great actress like me has her off days.
Be nice to a lonely person today you never know when it could be you!

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