Tiny Tears where are you now?

I was thinking about my topic for today and as always I had my thinking cap on. I was going over things in my mind and also thinking about the past. This I have to add at my age is common lol.
Then I saw a blog prompt and I thought oh yes that's the subject for today.
The prompt was

"Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a child. What became of it?"

Well this got me thinking. I loved my dolls when I was a child for me they were my babies and they all were special. I was kind to my dolls and rarely mistreated them . I love to make them clothes or better still get my mother to make clothes for them. I would tuck them in at night and never covered their faces, just in case they couldn't breath lol

My most favourite doll was Tiny Tears, she was the in toy of the year and I was over the moon when Santa got her for me. I loved the fact that you could give her a bottle and it would come out the other end lol.
She went everywhere with me and I would spend hours dressing and feeding her.

There came a time when I knew it was time I moved on . By then my niece Emma was around and I knew it was a good home for tiny. It broke my heart to give her away but I hoped that Emma would care for her as I had. So Tiny Tears where are you now?
I never knew if she did or what happened to Tiny but I hope her end was kind.
What was your favourite item and why?

Cakes, Cakes let them eat Cakes

Cakes, Cakes let them eat Cakes is my new theme tune. I got interested in cake decorating last year and in September my daughter Natalie and I enrolled in night school. The course sounded very interesting and I was keen to learn lots more. I am not sure I am going to be great at these cakes but I think I can turn out a fair one. I do also feel I have learnt a lot at school and improved my skill.
The only thing is as soon as people know that you do cakes they all ask lol. I am sure I don't want to do it as a business but I do enjoy making for friends and family.
My most recent is a three tier cake for a 50 birthday and boy was I scared. I had never made a stacked cake so It was stressful. 
I started by making a Madeira sponge the amounts for a 9 inch square or 10 inch round are:-

Bake time 1 hr 20 mins makes about 28 slices

350g (12 oz) softened butter and golden caster sugar
6 eggs
350g (12oz) sifted self raising flour
175g (6 oz) plain flour
grated zest and juice of 1 1/2 lemons
cream butter and sugar together until soft
Add eggs one at a time and mix. Fold in flour and lemon.
Bake at 170c (150c fan oven). Gas mark 3

When it cooled down I split it into two layer.
I made up some chocolate butter cream and put the layers together , I roughly covered the outside and set in fridge to set over night.
The next day I covered the cake in roll out fondant, I used the tips I picked up from my craftsy.com class to
get the top as smooth and flat as I could. I was pleased with it even if I need more experience.

For me it was going to be a stacked cake so I did the same to each cake. I then used bubble straws ( ebay) to act as a support for the layers. You can use wood but they push the cake out and the straws just sit nicely down inside the cake,
To make the frills I rolled out short lengths of fondant. I used cut bits of dowel rod and then put the fondant across. The I put more dowels on top and gently pressed down.

This made your frills. I let them dry a little as it was easier to pick up.

I used a little water to stick them on and tried to cover the joins as best as possible.

When It was dry I added black ribbon and also made a 50 from black modelling paste for the top

I think it turned out good and also tasted great . Every time I make one I will share with you and if you want to know anything please ask. Go forth and say Cakes, Cakes let them eat Cakes.

Expressions of Love

Today it is smile day and I wanted to share a little story about me! I always had penpals growing up, from all over the world. My first was Carla in Canada and I was 10. Believe it or not we are still in contact at the age of 57 lol which I think its pretty great. When I was 19 I started writing to a young sailor from my home town. When he came home in December 1978 he asked to meet. We did and by January 1979 we were engaged!

 We had only really been together 6 months at the time of the wedding. We faced a lot of people telling us it would never last, and some said it was just a rush wedding because I was having a baby. None of that was true!

Kevin and myself on our wedding day 

So now we have been married 36 years this year. We have had ups and downs like most couples, but we are still together. Every anniversary I want to tell those people "see it lasted" and really rub it in lol. We have a lovely family with two children Matthew and Natalie, and two beautiful grandchildren  and that Expression of Love has never disappeared

. I think my face  in this picture makes me smile. I hope you have enjoyed my story .

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="http://www.thecrumbymummy.co.uk/share-a-smile-linky//" target="_blank"><img src=http://i1260.photobucket.com/albums/ii568/TheCrumbyMummy/Smile-Button_zps824344e5.jpg>

Special k 30 Linky Challenge

How Ive changed Linky special

Special K30 Linky Challenge is something I was asked to take part in. I got to try a free box of the new recipe Special K cereal as well, so I was a very happy bunny.

I have had Special K over the last 30 years and its always been very tasty. This new recipe was yummy and I have to admit I did not restrict myself to breakfast! It was sweet but not too sweet and you felt like you was getting fibre without it being dry and nasty.
Part of the #Special k 30 Challenge was to also say how I think I have changed over the last 30 years.
Well I have got a lot older! That is for sure lol. Thirty 30 years ago I was 25. I had a young son of two and a happy marriage. I had lots of hope and dreams and plans of what was to come. I was also slim and fit and no health problems so I was very lucky.
Both my parents were alive and I got to talk to my mum everyday

Our Wedding Day 34 years ago

Over the 30 years my health has changed a great deal. I have very bad arthritis and lots of other problems that are getting worse. My weight has gone up and up and the days of past when I could go to fitness classes everyday of the week, have long gone. I try to stay positive and most of the time I do just that.
I am still with the man I fell in love with in 1978 and we have two beautiful children who are now 26 and 32.
Do I miss the shoulder pads ....... Yes
Do I miss my nice slim body....... Yes
Do I miss my children being small and wanting a  cuddle .... Yes

Saying that I am happy and lucky. Ok life may not have given that big house I dreamed of or lots of money. It gave me a lovely family and a happy home.
Love to hear all about your last ..... years.

This is my entry for Britmums/special k"How I've Changed Linky Challenge"

www.specialk.co.uk

Craftsy Classes

Craftsy classes is something I recently found and love. I live in a rural area and its hard to get to class at times. So I was looking on the Internet and found  Craftsy.com and I was hooked. I was not sure how it all worked at first but I thought I would start with a free class.
I love craft of all kinds but just got started in cake decorating and there was a free class in Buttercream  methods by Joshua John Russell.

It was really easy to purchase my class and easy to access it as well. I was amazed at how simple it was to use. I love josh and I started learning straight away. You could pause and re play if you did not understand and what I loved was the printable course material. Everything was thought of and its there for you to watch for always so you dont have to feel you have to rush.

There was even a way to ask Josh questions or interact with others doing the course. It was great to be able to ask questions about how easy to get the  items in your own country, I found that really helpful.
The whole of Josh's class was so great I was excited to try more.

I then started to buy a couple of classes and they were once again so great. There is a huge amount of classes available and not just cake decorating. I know I shall be trying out one of the patchwork classes soon. So why don't you give it a try is easy and so much fun and I would love to know what you pick and tell me all about it .
I will try and post some pictures and blog post about my new cake soon. Its my very first three tier and I did well , with the help of craftsy.com

Home of Downton Abbey

Home of Downton Abbey the hugely successful television series, is really called Highclere Castle.
I am a big fan on Downton Abbey and like a lot of people I was interested to see where it was filmed.

Highclere does not have many open days and sadly I missed out on tickets for any of those days this year, which is a shame. However, my son Matthew and my daughter in law Karen was lucky enough to get those special tickets.

Karen and Matthew

The land that Highclere stands on has people living on it for around 1300 years.
It was not until Georgian and Victorian times that major work was carried out by the Carnarvon family, and the old house on the land was converted to a classical mansion.
In 1836 the Third Earl of Carnarvon arranged to bring Sir Charles Barry to make his home into the wonderful mansion that the whole world would be impressed with.

Over the years Highclere Castle epitomised the glamour of the Edwardian times. During the first world war, Almina the 5th countess of carmarvon transformed the castle into a hospital and looked after soldiers that were brought from Flanders in 1914.

The Castle did return to a family home and in 1922 the 5th Earl of Carnarvon and Howard Carter found the tomb of Tutankhamun It continued to pass from son to son and also became home to evacuee children in the second world war.
The current 8th Earl and Countess live partly in the castle and partly nearby but make sure they are involved with its care and upkeep.

8th Earl and Countess

So back to Matthew and Karen! Like me Karen loves Downton Abbey and to top that off she is a teacher of History. I think they loved walking through the house and seeing some of the beautiful rooms.

Not only does it have fantastic rooms it also have fantastic gardens . Matthew and Karen had a rather rainy day but they said it was so beautiful to walk through the and see the wonderful view.

Matthew

I have to say I was dead jealous they got to go, but I am buying my tickets early next year lol.

Karen

What was lovely was Matthew and Karen bought me a gift back from the Castle. It is a pack of wild flower seeds which have been made up to attract butterflies, bees and birds. So I am going to have a little bit of Highclere in my own garden, which is so fab.

So I hope you enjoyed this whistle stop tour of Highclere Castle and if you do watch Downton you will know a little history of the home of the series.

www.highclerecastle.co.uk

Low Battery

Low Battery my cell phone flashed right at the second I was thinking I felt crappy. Was this a strange metaphor for my life? It sure felt like it was, well at least at that second on this day.
My life always seem to be about my weight which has been up and down all my life. If I added up all the days and weeks I had worried about my weight, I would be able see how much time I have wasted.

I have been slim and fairly fit but now I am very unfit and very overweight. I have really bad arthritis, and while I know its not an excuse, it does not help me to get fit or do fitness. I can't sleep well because of the pain and then I am worn out all day. I really want to lose weight and I can try but I seem to end up back at the start again.

I have stopped wanting to go out and feel better staying at home, this is where I feel safe. I have such low confidence that a social event is not fun. I never feel like I look my best and always seem to get stuck with the skinny guest.
My husband has no clue when I say I don't want to attend, he just thinks I am being a pain.

I pretend I am fine and happy, and that goes against me at times. I don't look like I need help and people often want me to give more than I can.

So I am dong a blog post to say I can't sleep. I cant get back on my diet and Low Battery is so true right now. Fear not i am sure I will be jollyjilly soon.

OMG I think I am getting old

OMG I think I am getting old. Yes folks I have finally noticed I am getting old lol. Old age seems to be like some creepy moss ,that slowly spreads across your life and before you know it climbs all over you.
I have been married 34yrs this year and I swear I have no idea where it all went. As a young bride of 21 I thought I had years to live and I was going to do so much. I was going to be rich ( yes well still hoping on that one) and own a big house by the time I was 30. Sadly that never happened either.
I was slim and fit and enjoyed all my fitness classes and life with my young husband.

Then time slipped on and my new biggest wish was a baby. I wanted one so bad it hurt. My husband said to wait at first but then he gave in. Ok I thought this will be easy but one month went to two months and two went to a year. I was so unhappy and tests showed there was not a problem with either of us.
Friends who started trying the same time got pregnant but not me, it was totally frustrating and I thought I was never going to be a mother.
Then the miracle happened and along came my first child , a darling little boy who I called Matthew.
I was totally in love the second I saw him and for a while he was all I needed. Then I thought it would be nice for him to have a brother or sister and along came child number two, a girl who I called Natalie.

Both my children were perfect ( I know every mother says's that) but they were! Natalie was the total opposite to her brother , but both were a delight. I loved to be a mother and that has continued today.
Right now they are grown-up and married. Matthew is 32 and married to Karen. Natalie is 25 and married to Rob.
My children have grown into two fab people. I love them both to death and I feel such pride in them both. I speak to Matthew most days and I bet not many mothers of a 32 yr old can say that. Natalie lives close and I speak or see her most days.
They are one joy that has come from getting older and seeing them grow into fine adults.

Life throws me a few curve balls these days. Very bad arthritis and fibromyalgia have stopped much of what I used to do. Never a day passes without pain and my weight has increased due to lack of mobility. I try not to moan about it and I choose to be positive and get on with life in general.
I may not be rich in money but I am rich in love of a 34 year marriage to Kevin and love of my darling children. So I think life has been good to me and even if it is OMG I think I am getting old, I am still smiling.

Smart Guide to Back Pain Review

Janet Wakley's book Smart Guide to Back Pain was given to me recently to review. Now as one who  has back pain, I was interested to read it. It started by telling us that Janet has 26 years experience as a nurse. and was also an instructor and back care adviser to other medical staff in the safe moving and handling of patients. She also trains St. John ambulance members.
Like myself she has suffered back pain so can fully understand the problems that we suffers have,

I found the book easy and simple to use and very well laid out. It went from walking, nutrition, myths and right on until the end with motivation. I also liked that at the end of each chapter there were key points . These reminded you of that chapters main points that had been looked at. A great idea if you wanted to re check and was not sure where you had seen it, or just to remind you of the facts.

There are lots of practical advice about all kinds of things such as carrying bags and the best kind of bed. Later on there are a number of exercises to help strengthen your back.
I also loved the last chapter on motivation as chronic pain can rob you of that at times.
Also full of useful information and resources and web information.

I will be trying to follow some of her advice, and if like me you suffer with back pain you should too.

http://www.hammersmithbooks.co.uk/backcare.html

Please note I was not paid for this review only receiving the book to read.

Ranking systems

Ranking systems are you in one or not? Do you think they are they are great or not ? When I first started blogging 3 yrs ago it was not high on my to do list. I was far too busy trying to learn about writing a blog and not upsetting anyone lol.

Then has time went on I thought I would apply. As the months went by I found myself waiting for the rankings to come out to see where I was. I was excited to see if I climbed or depressed if I didn't . I found it really made my month if I had moved up a few places and it gave me the push to carry on. As  a new blogger I had a lot of help from my niece Emma but for the last 2yrs I am self taught. I write from my heart and everything is from my life. You always hope someone out there is reading it , but you are never sure.

So when you place on a rankings list it really does make you feel good. I love the feeling that I am writing stuff that someone enjoys reading. I do also feel I have learnt more as there is so information from sites like Tots 100 that you can teach yourself with no problem.

Don't get me wrong I have made mistakes along the way, and I am very sure I will make more in the future. I will stay in the system but I will as always blog for me and any kind people who like to read. I will try to be excited by my rank but not driven by it.

I would love your opinion on Ranking systems

Nice to see you to see you nice!

Today was a good day. I had a lovely craft class at my fave place Flair which was with Rosa and Sarah and lots of friends and chat.
Then when I got home I was feeling worn out and the telephone rang. My lovely nephew was on the line and was hoping to pop round. I said yes without a second thought as I love to see him.

We have a rather spread out family and we don't see each other very often at all. I would like to see them more often but its rare. So when I get a chance I jump at it.
It was lovely to see him and chat about life in general and have a laugh with him.

As we go along in life we make choices and those choices are not always right but we have to live with that. I wish I could have back all the family I have lost along the way. I wish everyone dead and alive could have a huge party and really have fun. No worries or stress lol

Ah wish it was so but for now I will be happy with what I get and so enjoy every second

Where did I go?

Where did I go? Where did Jill stop and Kevin's wife, Matthew and Natalie's mum begin? I have been married 34 years this year and to be honest I have no idea where time or where I went. I have spent most of my life worrying about my weight. I look back now and see I was far from overweight but I was convinced I was. I was so envious of my friend her of the the long legs that went up to her arm pits. Her of the waist length golden hair that moved with a sway as she walked.

I let my lack of confidence hold me back from doing so much and I let some huge opportunities slip me past.
Then I met Kevin and he loved me as I was and life as a couple began. I knew he loved me as I was but still I held onto those old hang ups.
Then came the kids and my weight went up and down, but mostly I was slim but once again my life was controlled by my mind.

I have had success but only short term. Let me tell you I must have spent a fortune on weight loss books and DVD's and diets. My daughter tells me to live my life and not worry but that is not easy to do. I live with constant pain and I know if i were lighter I would have a much easier life.
I not sure I ever really knew then or now who I am. Am I the serial dieter is that what defines my life. I hope not because that would be rather sad. So I will keep trying and I will never stop being Kevin's life or Matthew and Natalie's mum because that is the most important.

I hope when its time for me to head off to heaven I will not leave a marker saying
"Serial Dieter" because I hope my life has a lot more than that.

Where did I go? I'm right here